Monday, 18 August 2014

Withdrawal Symptoms...


It doesn't seem fair, but
Most of the time you don't
Find the love you want
From the person you want it from.
You can keep fighting for it - 
Or you can surrender.
It doesn't mean you love them less.
You just choose to love them from afar.
So that you can clear your heart
To see that the love you want
Is in you.

Shuga.

Saturday, 8 March 2014

I AM...


I am sophisticated and passionate
I wonder where to start
I hear the abstract symphonies of my heart
I see the pictures, paintings and scars
I want freedom from the past
I am sophisticated and passionate
I pretend I am content
I feel dissociated yet at peace
I touch the royal velvet robes of my Priesthood
I worry about mediocrity
I cry about regret
I am sophisticated and passionate
I understand I am a child of God
I say He is always with me
I dream of my life in colour and metaphors
I try to open up, to trust, and to rise above
In spite of the never lasting
I am hard wired to love

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The Least, The Last & The Lost.


"Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."


I like how vividly I can remember songs from my childhood. Mum and dad's music playing in the family car whenever we traveled long distances, I thought I barely paid attention to the lyrics. But years later when nostalgia hits and I relive some of those memories I suddenly realize that I know a few lyrics to some of the most meaningful songs I have ever heard. - I was being ministered to and I didn't even know it!

So I've decided to include this as a 'Song of a Lady Samsonite', simply because it's proven to be such a humble blessing to me.

:)

Written by Austin Cunningham & Allen Shamblin
 (Performed by Susie Luchsinger)

She had a cocaine habit 
A baby on the way 
And a pimp who couldn't care less 
If she shivered to death 
in the February frost 
Just a twenty dollar hooker 
The county laid low 
Without so much as a prayer...

Cause who cares about 
The least, the last, and the lost 

You can smell him on the steps 
Of the church downtown 
With a trembling outstretched hand 
Trying to scrape together what a bottle of whiskey costs 
They all avoid his eyes 
As they file inside 
Pay their tithes then they fall asleep...

While the preacher's preaching 
About the least, the last and the lost 

The last shall be first someday 
The lost souls will find their way 
If a brother or sister will point them to the cross 
Everyone can be a child of the king 
Oh Father have mercy on me 
When I overlook the least, the last and the lost  
Lord help me love the least, the last and the lost 

Well He showed up in town wearing ragged old shoes 
Like He'd walked from some other world 
Said His Daddy sent Him here to build bridges 
And tear down walls 
Well they called him a mad man 
And strung Him on up...

But that was all part of the deal 
To give some hope to the least, the last and the lost 

He said the last shall be first someday 
The lost souls will find their way 
If a brother or sister will point them to the cross 
Everyone can be a child of the king 
Oh Father have mercy on me 
When I overlook the least, the last and the lost  
Lord help me love the least, the last and the lost 

 He told me when I love one of them 
I might as well be loving Him 
Cause He cares about the least, the last and the lost 
Heaven waits for the least, the last and the lost 
Lord help me love the least, the last and the lost 



 (copyright 1995 Starstruck Writers Group Inc/Senior Partner Music/ASCAP and Built On Rock Music (adm by copyright mgt. inc) 
 ASCAP) 

Saturday, 10 August 2013

Where Do Babies Come From? (Ask God, He Knows.)


"When I was a kid, my mother told me that I was a little piece of blue sky... 
... that came into this world because she and Dad loved me so much. 
It was only later that I realized that it wasn't exactly true. 
Most babies are coincidences. 
I mean, up in space you got all these souls flying around...
... looking for bodies to live in.
Then, down here on Earth, two people have sex or whatever...
... and bam, coincidence.
I, on the other hand, am not a coincidence.
I was engineered."

The opening dialogue is taken from the movie "My Sister's Keeper" where a little girl (the main actress) explains how she was born with a particular purpose, genetically engineered in vitro, in a test tube or a petri dish, and that the idea of her very existence was to save her older sister who suffered from leukemia. 

Although there are many reasons and explanations in the world as to how we came to be on this earth, how we came into existence, the biological explanation being the most blatantly obvious, (LOL! :-p) I can't help but wonder about the pre-existence... where did we all come from before we came to be? Before we were delicately, intricately and secretly knitted together in the womb...?

Where did our souls come from?
And where did they "hang out" before our bodies were created?
I know this must be a truly weird question, but being the unorthodox thinker that I am, I just can't help but wonder. Since we all started out as babies, I will therefore pose the age-old question: "Where do babies come from?"

You see, sometimes when I'm lucky I ask myself certain things, and then I so happen to come across some thing(s) that help explain whatever it is that I need explained to me. Call it my intuition or whatever, but it's almost always on point! Thus, whilst busy on social media (Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Instagram, etc) I came across a link to an article based on a book by a lady named Crystal McVea. It came under the heading "7 Things You Didn't Know About Heaven," and I thought wow, how strange....who's ever been to Heaven? But nonetheless, I was interested, so I read up on it. 

Basically the author is a lady who had a near-death experience and documented her thoughts, feelings, and other senses. Allow me to just quote one paragraph that she writes. One of the summarized seven points went as follows:

You don’t go to Heaven, you return to Heaven. “In Heaven, I wasn't so much meeting God as I was recognizing Him. And in the same way, Heaven did not feel like a new and strange place to me, it felt like home. And that is one of the most beautiful truths about Heaven—that when you get there it is familiar to you. It is like you are remembering it instead of experiencing it for the first time. In every possible way, Heaven feels like home.” - Crystal McVea "Waking Up In Heaven."

I was led to follow this up with a couple of scriptures.
Matthew 18:10 says See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in Heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in Heaven."




And Philippians 3:20-21 says "But our citizenship is in Heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself."

So I mean, surely if there are hints that God somehow knew us before we even came to be, (Psalm 139) if we, even as babies are citizens of Heaven, then we must have spent time with Him before we were sent to Earth....maybe? Maybe somewhere in space, distance and time, before we were given our body forms, whilst we were still star dust, before the flesh and the bones and the skin, prior to the breath of life that was breathed into our lungs, we spent "eternity" just chilling out with our Creator. B-)

It's a possibility. 

It is one way of looking at things.

It is a plausible explanation for the existence and the origin of our spiritual beings. The fact that we all have the capacity to connect with one another - another human being on an emotional level, and to connect with God (or a higher power) on a spiritual level. There is that little piece of evidence, the Godly "DNA" which we all carry, pointing out the fact that we all originate from His realm. - why deny it?

If only our memories served us really well and we could remember the nine months spent in a transition state, hidden from the world, and most probably in constant communication with Him. How cool would that be? Only God knows why He has shielded us from it, why He has put a veil between the two worlds, and only He knows what's best, so I'm not going to test and challenge Him on this one, hahaha! But yeah, how cool would that be? :) If we came into this world all-knowing and in no need of physical, emotional, spiritual and mental preparation for our lives on Earth. How strange. I guess life's trials and tribulations come in many forms and they are required for us to grow, and this growth is required for our strength, which is in turn required for us to overcome the principalities that be. But understanding all of that would be a whole other topic study on its own!

What I'm saying is, there must be more to life than simply life and death, and more to the aspect of life after death, for I do believe there is life before "life" itself, if that makes any sense. And only God knows who we were before we were who we are today, which is why He is the answer to ourselves. The alpha and omega. Author and finisher of our faith.

So where do babies come from? Don't know! All we can do is live our lives seeking His kingdom and drawing ourselves "closer to home" per say, and getting ready for our return, where He will wipe our tears and say "Well done."  


Saturday, 9 March 2013

Bad Habit


"I'mma test this out. Now, keep in mind that I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my sh*t. So y'all be nice about it. Alright." ~ Erykah Badu. 

:)

In the same sentiments regarding the quote above (LOL), this is a poem that I wrote when I was in my early teens. It can probably be interpreted in any way, but whichever way it's interpreted, it still lies close to my heart. So, without further do, I've decided to include it in this blog as one of the songs of my life. Songs of a Lady Samsonite. xoxo





A bad habit 
A regular argument 
Habitual disappointment 
Again and again 
Temporary self-esteem 
Temporary harmony 
But a bruised ego 
Yet again 
You raise me up 
You beat me down 
A momentary smile 
With an expected frown 
How many times 
Will you apologize? 
How many times 
Will I compromise? 


You take me out of my comfort zone 
Accommodate me in a broken home 
I don't feel safe 
My heart is in your hands 
I don't think you love me 
Why can't you understand? 
You're a drug, you’re a stimulant 
You get me on a high 
Your dangerously sweet tongue 
Sends me off to the sky 
I'm awaiting my downfall 
My darkened fate 
On the edge of our cliff 
I stand 
Unsafe 
And unprotected 
Exposed to your trap 
Engulfed in your lies 
Yet it's you I come running to 
When in this mess 
Waiting on your bitter strike…
And sweet caress 



Saturday, 2 March 2013

Samsonite Dreams.

~~~ I run from something scary. And by scary I mean something that frightens me, something that I can't handle. And right now I can't handle a relationship. So I run...

I run fast and I run far and I run hard. And while I run, something might make me lose focus for a split second - and not watching where I'm going, I may bump into another. Crap! 


So I take off and I run again, in a different direction than before. And now I have two guys running after me. ~~~


It sounds like just another bad dream. I know. But the truth is, this is a perfect metaphor for a constant situation. Something that has been wired into my subconscious as a result of more-than-a-couple bad experiences in the past. A defence mechanism for a tortured soul trying its best to protect itself, and the heart, from hurting the same way it has been hurt before... or worse. It is a reflex action. It is all I know. "When things get scary...run!" 


It is a deformity - and I understand that now. But somehow I can't seem to shake the old habit. I run from a "good thing", afraid that when the clock strikes 12 and midnight comes, the golden chariot will turn into a great big pumpkin, the white horses will turn into mice, the beautiful Vera Wang gown I've been wearing will turn into rags, and Prince Charming will simply disintegrate into thin air... or turn into a wolf!


I realize that I can't keep running forever and sooner or later I will have to face my fears. But when will that be? Which brings me to another issue...


There is a reason why we women "settle" at times. 


We grow weary from all the running. We run for months on end, sometimes years, and we begin to realize that we probably might end up running forever. We begin to realize that it's a lot easier to just slow down, start walking, or maybe even stop altogether and surrender - hand yourself in to one that holds you captive and hope for the best...


But surely this is not a good thing. Yet, many times it seems like a viable option. Many times we hear our grandmothers and our mothers and our aunts and our sisters remind us, in the present, but adorning the essence of their future selves, that a biological clock is ticking and if we continue to run, one day we'll find that all the good men are gone and that all along we've been running for nothing.


So let me put a positive spin to all this... have you ever heard of the term "jogging for Jesus"?  In our everyday lives, we need to realize that there is nothing wrong with running, as long as we take our transgressions, and our worries, and our failures, and our fears, pack them up in a brand new Samsonite called "prayer" and  take a journey. Make sure to check in all your luggage before you proceed and allow Him to run alongside you. Psalm 55:22 tells us to do exactly that. And for some of you who are like me and have been running all along, Matthew 11:28-30 takes care of that. It says: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 


Beautiful isn't it? Just to know that there is someone to run to. Someone willing to help you get over yourself and all the walls you've built around yourself, ironically trying to find freedom. Someone who is waiting in the dark woods, with arms wide open, shining His light of love and warmth and waiting for you to simply collide in Him. 


And the best part of all is this - He is more than willing to guide you, if you let Him. He will run with you. Show you where to go. Teach you. Shield you. Expose you to that which is good for you. Take you "shopping" so you can see and appreciate the qualities in the one who is tailor-made to be with you. 


He has placed the lost glass slipper in the hands of the one already. Whether he knows this yet or not. And whether he has come to Him yet or not. For He has seen this day before it came to pass. He wrote and holds the storybook bearing the adventures that come ahead. All you have to do is run to Him. 


Songs of a Lady Samsonite. 


xoxo



video










Saturday, 9 February 2013

Do You Qualify?

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things I need you to see? Will you be able to understand, that
I'm a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not constantly trippin?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations behind?
Can you come to me with your problems and not wait until it's too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds & Gold? 
Can you make me feel like I'm the last woman you'll ever hold?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a good man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know,
DO YOU QUALIFY?

The Brother's Response:

You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you've asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?
Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
Or will you fight with me instead?

If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance neglected, and checked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean wholeheartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?

Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts? 
Or is it just when it's convenient for you?
Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of all the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?

If I don't send you flowers the day your co-worker received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?
Will you be patient and teach me to understand you, and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby what's wrong?
Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man would know!"

When we first met, what was it that caught your eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality? 
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love what I drive, instead of what's driving me?
Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I'm tired, will you trust I'm sincere or believe that there must be another one?

My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours.
No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.
In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the rough times I'll mold you; your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, in your place, I'll stand.

A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify.
Now, more importantly... Do you?

- Author Unknown.